It's best to stick with their request at such a sensitive time. Traditionally, Hindus like to have the ashes spread on the Ganges Rivers waters in India. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. Since it is such a singular honor, one shouldn't refuse an invitation to be a pallbearer except for illness or absence from the location in which the funeral is being held. We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Generally, only people who are particularly invited to the shraddha ceremony will attend. Whether you are going to a, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Sibling, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Friend, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Partner or Spouse, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Child. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. They cannot visit the family shrine and are not allowed to enter any sacred place, such as a temple. India Today Web Desk, I. On the one-year anniversary of the death of the loved one, a memorial service is held in the family home. The world of Emily Post etiquette advice is at your fingertips. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. Decide upon the best way to get the word out to friends and relatives about the service. Some Hindu traditions advocate devotional singing and scriptural recital during this time, rather than consider it a time of mourning; instead, realising it as a celebration that the soul has now been liberated and resides eternally in the abode of God. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. JavaScript is disabled. Simple condolences are universally acceptable. That said, if you are thinking about contacting the bereaved or would like to offer your condolences, you should absolutely do so. If there is no relationship with the family, introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the deceased. Everplans is not a licensed healthcare provider, medical professional, law firm, or financial advisory firm, and the employees of Everplans are not acting as your healthcare providers, medical professionals, attorneys, or financial advisors. I understand that cerain days like Fridays and Saturdays are avoided for such visits. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. Her startling determination to do exactly the opposite, was amazing.". The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. In many locales, even those who don't know each other will rally to assist bereaved neighbors in some way. Get a signed copy of the NEW Emily Post's Etiquette Centennial edition, and support Vermont's independent bookstores. While it can be difficult to know just what to say to someone who has experienced a death, many people who have experienced a death appreciate being contacted. The Awesome Etiquette podcast is a weekly Q&A show where hosts, (cousins, and co-presidents of the Emily Post Institute,) Lizzie Post and Dan Post Senning answer audience questions, tackle etiquette topics in detail and salute good etiquette witnessed by the Awesome Etiquette audience. However, mourners should check with the family or the funeral director to find out what's appropriate for the funeral they are attending. Keep your friend informed and get her feedback. Today is a sad day for us. Those can include: During these thirteen days, the family and friends of the deceased are given the freedom to express their grief rather than keep it bottled up inside. Available to ship anywhere in the U.S. After the cremation service, the family will return home and perform Hindu death rituals such as ceremonial bathing. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Common blunders while visiting the bereaved: 1. This setting gives the family a larger space to accept visitors and allows easier interaction with others. In summary, visiting a grieving family requires good knowledge of etiquette as outlined above. For some, writing notes is helpful as they work through their grief; for others it is too difficult to get much done for some time. He leads the family and mourners in various Hindu funeral rituals. In Gujarati families, there is a belief that the departed soul rests on the rooftop of the house observing everything for the next 13 days. This can occur when friends or colleagues show up and we forget for a moment that it is a solemn occasion. Financial and logistics assistancewhere acceptable and appropriatecan be a big relief. He seemed fine when I saw him last week! Did you check her cholesterol? What did the first ECG show? Was he wearing a helmet? When was her last chemo? are but a few examples of such unwarranted questions. And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. 3. Usage of any form or other service on our website is
A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: A funeral/wake at the family's place. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. Brief words like I am sorry for your loss or You are in our thoughts and prayers are both meaningful and comforting. If you don't feel comfortable having your daughter view an open casket, skip the visiting hours and simply attend the service. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. Keep your pet leashed, and clean up after it. 5. Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? If you decide to let her attend, prepare your daughter by letting her know what the service involves and address any questions she may have. There is no official time frame for writing notes of appreciation to those who have extended their condolences and kindness to you. Unfortunately, blaming the healthcare establishment is a convenient way to vent the inevitable anger and grief. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. While every group has slightly different funeral practices, theres a general set of funeral rites that all follow in this community. Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. While visiting, people tend to get drawn into conversations unrelated to the bereavement, at times even catching up on gossip. I understand that not only did your friend mean a great deal to you, but also that Keyur was well-loved by his family and community. The family also . E-mail shouldn't replace a handwritten condolence note, but it's a nice way to let your coworker that you're there for her. This forum contains old posts that have been closed. Visitors are also welcome during this period. Is 'Leela' an appropriate tamil brahmin name for a baby girl ? Weapons do not cut this Spirit, fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. We are very sorry for your loss. You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. It is not slain when the body is slain. Bhagavad Gita 2.20. Such tasks can include arranging for the ambulance, delivering food, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of paperwork, keeping smaller children occupied and assisting with funeral arrangements. While visiting, people tend to get drawn into conversations unrelated to the bereavement, at times even catching up on gossip. Today we offer a wide range of books, online resources, training programs for all ages and topics, a weekly podcast and a selection of greeting cards and paper products. Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. The ashes are usually scattered in a local river or the sea or maybe taken to India to be scattered in any one of the holy rivers, such as the Ganga. You can also include a poem, passage or anything else you feel reflects your friend's life. During this period, the close relatives of the deceased person abstain from celebrations and . Hare Krishna. If not familiar with the situation, it is helpful to call a friend who knows the family, to find out beforehand when and where to visit, and what the right thing to do is while visiting. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as anexpression of comfort and support. The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Before the funeral, Catholics hold the Vigil (Wake). If your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died is more casual, it may be best to wait until the wake, funeral or memorialservice, or after the funeral to reach out. Most 10-year-olds are ready for this type of experience, as long as they are accompanied by a parent or someone else close to them. She may depend on you entirely or she may wish to participate in the planning and have you take care of the details. 24 hours after the death, the body is taken to the cremation site. Rather than ask Do you need anything it is better to be specific about what we can do for them. Loss is hard. Only one rule should guide you in writing sympathy messages: say what you truly feel. There may be a request to turn the patients bed so their head faces east or for the patient to be allowed to lie on the floor in the moments before death (so that they are close to mother earth and their soul can depart easily). 82 Telok Blangah Dr, #01-43, Singapore 100082, Copyright 2021/22 Funeral Flower Singapore | www.funeralflowerssingapore.com, 199+ Heartfelt and Deepest Condolences Messages For The Bereaved, 50+ Sincere Christian Condolence Message For Loss of Loved One, Funeral Ceremony Traditions of Different Religions in Singapore. They'll surely understand. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. Whether you are going to a Hindu funeral or just want to send condolences to an acquaintance, we've provided 15 thoughtful examples as a place to start. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of Brahman or the universal soul. Not reading or reciting anything from the holy scriptures. In either case, develop a list of questions that your friend will need to answer. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service
In our cosmopolitan society, its not uncommon to know or work with people from all over the world. Upon learning of the death of a family member, friend or colleague, it is common to contact a member of the family to express condolences and offer help and assistance. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a Hindu belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure. Although Hindus take solace in their belief in reincarnation and liberation, they still experience grief. If you want to do something now, send a donation as suggested by the family. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Otherwise, they may quietly sit throughout the chanting. to an Orthodox Hindu for their sibling, youll find that the atmosphere of condolences is much different. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. If unsure, the best thing to do is stick to something straightforward. Remember, the subject of your eulogy is the person's best qualities, not your feelings. In this sect of Hinduism, there's no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Your personal condolence note would be especially kind, too. Hindu mourning rituals will vary according to the sect, caste, circumstances of the family and a variety of other elements. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. Malayala Manorama apps - carry the world with you. Although not a good idea immediately after the passing, subsequent visits with the family can be enlivened by conversation about the good memories we had together with the person. Some Indian-Americans journey all the way back to India to immerse the ashes in the Ganges or visit many pilgrimage sites to seek blessings for the departed soul and solace for their own pain. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. It would surely be a meaningful and caring gesture. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? After the shraddha ceremony, the family usually returns to work after 1-3 weeks. But may his soul travel swiftly to the next destination. Sleep is a basic bodily need, and lack of it can take a person down in no time. Sometimes termed the Art of Presence, one of the best gifts one can give is the gift of time. Wearing black or pale shades are just fine unless there are specific protocols in place. 13. Theyre good people inside and out, living a life marked with joy and fulfillment. . Good Thinking provides a range of resources to help Londoners improve their mental wellbeing. I remember how she encouraged me to get good grades and once even offered me a ride home after school. Although some people may attend the cremation ceremony, non-Hindus are not allowed to participate in the mukhagni ceremony. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. For information about opting out, click here. As such, this message will work for the friend who sincerely believed in the transitory nature of the body itself. There is often an emphasis on white flowers. The urge to dish out free advice and meaningless platitudes must be resisted. When someone you know has experienced the death, it's a natural impulse to want to reach out and offer sympathy, condolences, and support. Silence is a good option; a kind gesture can speak better than words. The wake is usually reserved just for family members. generalized educational content about wills. What to Send: Sympathy flowers and sympathy cards are appropriate Hindu funeral rites Hindu funeral service: Traditionally, the body remains at the home of the deceased or in a funeral parlor until it is cremated, which is usually within 24 hours after death. You can also donate financially if you can. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. If you knew him, some kind words about himperhaps an anecdotewould mean a lot. (Bhagavad Gita, 2.23-24). Well take you through some examples of condolences or sympathies below and try to iron out whats commonplace or whats appropriate in specific contexts. The best thing is to work things through at your own pace. For some cultures, a soft hug is appropriate, while for others a gentle squeeze of the hand will do. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. As there is no room for error, it is better to go prepared than be caught by surprise not knowing how to respond in such situations. The Spirit cannot be cut, burned, wet, or dried. If You're More Casually Acquainted With The Person Who Died Or The Bereaved Usually, Hindu families arrange the funeral ceremony within 24 hours after death. He would tell you that mourning only keeps you from fulfilling your role as head of this family. If you are a friend of a friend: Send an email or handwritten note at your convenience. Doing away with anything that suggests we are arriving at a party is sensible. The mourning period lasts for 10 days after the death. Are you afraid of Sivasankar, court asks Customs; allows five-day custody, Chennai roads inundated as cyclone Nivar triggers intermittent rain, These Kashmiri families are eager to vote in Kerala local body polls, Wanted! 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This period usually lasts for 10 days. Hare Krishna. Organ donation is accepted and encouraged in the Hindu faith and should be discussed with the family when appropriate. Few people are comfortable visiting a home where death has just occurred. The word hearty means happy and should not be confused with heart-felt. Offer your help in other ways, such as ushering, delivering a reading, preparing the program for the service, or assisting the family with plans for the service or for any reception afterwards (if there is one). Serve his or her favorite foods. If you are a colleague or acquaintance: Send an email or handwritten note immediately. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Deciding to stop by at a funeral on the way to a wedding, therefore, can be suicidal. Discussions about unhealthy habits leading to an early demise can be reserved for later. Food will be served following the ceremony. When it comes to jewelry, they should not wear anything flashy and keep it light. Mourners dress, eat, and behave austerely during the ten to thirty days after the death and before the shraddha ceremony. In any context, bad manners are those that make other people uncomfortable. May she rest in peace. All rights reserved. The act of explaining to the son or daughter or other close relatives about the good nature and help rendered by the deceased and give condolences to them is called Enquiring about the grief. (2.20) acche'dyo' yam adhaahyo' yam akle'dhyo' sya eva cha / nithyah sarva-gathah sthaanoor achalo' yam sanaathanah. After all, some of the wisest people can almost convey a book in a matter of a sentence. It is important to avoid language bloopers like hearty condolences, a common error in this part of the world. When one is in the cycle of rebirth, you would ask God to give momentum to the soul because the Hindu journey is ultimately to reach God. Families differ in their religious beliefs, social preferences and cultural outlook. Others go the extra mile and debate whether the person might actually make it to heaven or settle for hell. It's up to you. If youre not familiar with these Hindu funeral customs, you may also see a lot of food and drink. There is a process of letting the deceased go and telling them goodbye with prayers and songs. It is customary and appropriate to visit the family at home, especially during the days following the funeral. It is also key to building positive karma for the deceased. Please accept my condolences for your loss. A thoughtful gift which allows the name of the deceased to be mentioned will provide long-lasting comfort to the family. We pray that Lord Krishna gives you great strength to travel through all of this suffering. Liberation is characterised as the attainment of the transcendent. I am sorry for your loss. It is worth knowing that they are not always expecting a reply from uswe just need to listen. Distant relatives and more casual friends and acquaintances may prefer visiting the family at the funeral home. The nominations for the 93rd Academy Awards will be announced on March 15. Hindus believe that humans are in a continuous cycle of death and rebirth calledsamsara. (1995). Harper San Francisco. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. Gifts of food and red flowers are not acceptable; white flowers are considered the appropriate mourning flower. This link will open in a new window. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. The Good Thinking team has produced this short guide to help anyone in the Hindu community across London who has lost a loved one, and to help health and care professionals who are supporting terminally ill patients of the Hindu faith. Time spent at the funeral home may vary. Before making your decision, take time to consider the family's request. A Hindu priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. Traditional rites of Hindu funerals dictate that this ceremony should only be attended by men. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. Otherwise, if they show and express sorrow, guests will offer words to help them accept what has happened to move forward. New threads and replies may not be made here. Likewise, the person who passes an ugly remark at a solemn family function might not even realise what he said or did was hurtful.